Welcome to the Wednesday Write-in!
Welcome to the Wednesday Write-in. This event runs every week to help any and all writers take control of their productivity and imaginations. Please join in; we’d love to read your work.
Prompts
mistake :: baggage :: curlew :: tear :: shatter
Guidelines
There are no rules, but here are some guidelines:
- Use the prompts as inspiration or try to work them into your story somehow. Use as many as you want.
- When your story is done, post it online (your blog/twitter/in a comment here), tag with #wednesdaywritein if you like, and comment with a link so we can read it.
- Please take the time to read and comment on as many other stories as you have time for (but we won’t shout at you if you don’t).
- If you want to write a poem, a script, or something completely different, feel free.
Get Involved
Look for us on Facebook or Twitter to keep up with the write-ins, or click the follow button to get blog updates.
Any questions? Otherwise, have fun writing!
CAKE.shortandsweet 
Morning, all.
My effort this week is entitled ‘The Uncrowned King,’ and it’s to be found over ‘ere on my blog:
http://sjohart.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/wednesday-write-in-86/
I truly hope you enjoy it. Looking forward to everyone else’s work, as always.
SJ
Down in the slog of the bog is the slob
Happy Irish families portrayed with some fondness and pride I suspect
Lucky people with little to show for it except happiness
Roy
Well, I’m not sure how happy they are! 🙂 But thank you. Yes, there’s pride there and lots of fondness for my childhood home. Thanks for reading.
Here is my contribution to what I thought was a very interesting range of prompts this time
Hope you all enjoy this one
Roy
Prompts
mistake :: baggage :: curlew :: tear :: shatter
The Big Mistake
I couldn’t wait to see her. It had been weeks and I wasn’t even able to contact her in the isolated Scottish island we called home. I drove the car with the urgency of a drowning man across the beautiful but dreadfully lonely highlands towards the ferry. I imagined how she would greet me; surprise, delight, embarrassment – would she run to me with open arms tears streaming with joy and anticipation of the first kiss, her hair streaming around my shoulder as she nestled into me, hugging and breathless. My thoughts were jumbled with my many expectations and doubts. Perhaps she was used to not seeing me and had decided to have no more of not knowing why I had to go on ‘another jaunt’ as she called my absences. I hoped not; she was the only thing in my life which made sense.
I decided there would be no more contracts; no matter how lucrative and no matter how much the target ought to be extinguished. We had everything we needed and we had each other, no one would find us on our island. Yes I had reached the end of my professional career as an assassin. I just needed to get home to peace and quiet and her love and tenderness and to wash away all the anxiety and fear; forget the site of blood and death and that piercing astonishment in my victim’s eyes.
Too fast at the bend I lost the back end of the car and careered over the edge into the rocky ravine; in seconds, the shatter of glass, the painful tear of ligaments, the whirl of beautiful glen around me as the car crumpled and the contents of my baggage was riffled and strewn about. I did not die instantly I lived long enough to regret the big mistake I had made. I had lost control and paid for it. After all my years of meticulous planning and detailed preparation to guarantee total confidence in the outcome of ‘the jaunt’. I had lost it. I did not feel angry just amazement, shock. Would she wonder what happened to me?
The only witness to my demise, the only testament to my last breath – was the curlew and its lonely call – cuurleew- currlleew.
I loved where your imagination took you with the prompts. What a very interesting life your character must have had, and what a sad end. I particularly liked the use you made of the curlew, and its plaintive call.
Thanks SJ
He’s the second assassin who came to a sticky end in Scotland at the end of my pen
Can’t explain it
Roy
This has a great sense of urgency and emotion as he is driving home and thinking of her. Then what a surprise ending and a lovely last sentence.
Thanks Elaine
I hoped your character survived until I read that he didn’t die instantly. Lots of emotion in this story. Well done!
Thanks Tessa
Sad story but an appropriate end to an assassin. Very well written.
A little flash fiction:
Baggage
I didn’t think I had any baggage, I thought I’d unpacked it, stuffed it in plastic bags and binned it years ago. But the date. It was the date. Some dates just stick in your head and won’t allow you to forget.
When the final piece of paper plopped through the letter box I sat on the stairs and shed a waterfall of misery. Twenty-five years was not a mistake.
And now ten years on, I sat on different stairs and another tear dripped to mark the occasion.
I hope the ‘ten years later’ tear was one of happiness, and not sorrow or regret. It sounds like the end of a marriage to me, and I hope your character has found some peace. A great way to use the prompt, well done.
Maybe she should go for a walk
She might see and hear a curlew which would shatter her misery
Seriously
I liked it. You caught a mood. A sad moment of remembrance.
Roy
Ten years on it’s just a tear, not a waterfall. Moving on nicely. This is a very poignant little story. Lovely.
Evokes strong emotion in a very short piece. I especially liked ‘shed a waterfall of misery.’ Well done.
Some dates really do stick to you and baggage of life is not that easy to bin and get rid of, I understand. Enjoyed, well done!
Poignant is how I see it. Dates can be real killers. A perceptive little piece.
The Honeymoon
The setting was perfect. The cottage in tranquil countryside close to the river, all chocolate box prettiness, a place to start making memories.
She watched the curlew wading through the shallows, its long curved beak busy stabbing the dark water for unseen prey. Further along the river a gaggle of geese waddled over the muddy bank, their harsh calls shattering the dawn silence.
A single tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered their quarrel. The stupid argument about nothing, his calling her a spoilt child, her refusal to listen to his apology, then the panic as he put his baggage back into the car and drove away.
She’d been out here for hours, since before first light, wondering what to do. Surely he’d come back. But what if he didn’t? She pictured herself running back to her parents. She pictured life without him, but found she couldn’t.
The sun was rising and it was going to be a beautiful day. She walked slowly up the lane towards the house and let herself into the silent kitchen. Maybe she had over-reacted. Maybe he would give her a second chance. Was this what marriage was all about? Maybe it was time to grow up.
She left a message. ‘Please, I’m sorry. I’ve made a huge mistake. Please come back.’
As she put the phone down the voice of a blackbird on a tree outside sang out joyfully to greet the day, and a car drew up outside.
Oh, what a lovely ending – both in terms of the way you’ve written the sentence, and the sentiment. I hope their marriage gets stronger from here! Beautiful language and imagery throughout, particularly focused on the birds and their calls; I could really picture the scene.
Thank you for your kind comment. I think they’ll learn from this shaky start!
I hope this relationship will carry on building brick by brick
So well observed as usual
Happy ending too
Roy
The silent kitchen was a great image and the last line gives the story a positive hope that things will work out after all. Great job!
Thanks Tessa.
“If it is not the happy ending, then it is not the end at all” type of story and I absolutely enjoyed it! Real life picture, and I know for sure – everything will be good between those two 🙂 it should be!
Fingers crossed!
This is late. I have a serious head cold, dammit.
A great description of how we feel when couples get it wrong. I think the ending is fun because we don’t know whether it’s him, or some young clean-shaven doctor seeking tranquility and a long-term relationship.
A single tear! Not too upset then.
I hope you get better before Easter and your trip. Poor girl, she’d cried buckets all night so there was just the one tear left!! No, it’s definitely his car. She’ll mature and he’ll be more tolerant and they’ll live happily ever after.
Pingback: The Old Farmer’s Tale | patrickprinsloo
Mine here: http://patrickprinsloo.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/1506/
What’s this Pingback thingy? Anybody know? It seemed to appear automatically.
The pingback is because you linked to the CAKE.shortandsweet page from your blog post, as far as I know. Nothing to be concerned about, I don’t think! 🙂
Oh, and I really enjoyed your story, too. I think Mr Coleridge would be proud of you. 😉
Ah. Crafty technology. And thanks for comment.
Pingback: Wednesday Weekly Write-In | Tessa Sheppard
I finished my flash fiction piece today, finally. I look forward to reading everyone else’s. 🙂
http://tessasheppard.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/wednesday-weekly-write-in-24/
I loved this piece Tessa
I just want to read more of it
Tremendous opening paragraph. Makes you want to find out all about the father, girl, the baggage, the money, the organisation, the other man and where is the mother? What will the girl do now she has killed a man? Will her father recover? Will they become some sort of vengeance team?
Roy
Thank you! The story has lots of possibilities for a longer piece. Glad you liked it. 🙂
The ending was not what I expected from reading the beginning! This could certainly make a great novel.
Thanks!
Pingback: Let’s DO this! | go ask alisa
Just got done with mine: short and moving. “Let’s DO this!” http://goaskalisa.com/2014/04/09/lets-do-this/
Hope you like it, looking forward to read stories of others 🙂